Focused on What?
Focused on Christ...Christ Alone...Christ Centered...Desires of my heart to be God desires...Does that describe my life? Do I truly live a life that is focused on
getting to know God and trying to live everyday according to what He desires for my life? Honestly, i don't think so....
I love being a believer in Christ. I can't even begin to imagine what my life would look like without God in it. People who don't know who God is baffle me. It is not all roses and chocolate, but I wouldn't chose a different life. But what does my relationship with Christ really look like? I talk to God all the time. I am not a
structured prayer person. My day consist of talking to God all day like He is sitting beside me listening. But what do I talk to him about?
Do I spend time talking about his love, his blessing, asking for his guidance, asking him to show me what to do every second of every day? Or is it more of a list of my complaints in the form of a prayer? Or telling Him my desires and then giving Him an idea of how to make those things happen? If I am being honest it is the later...
"Lord I firmly believe that you want me to be overseas again. So if You could hurry up and make that happen than I could be living a Christ-Centered life..."
"Lord I am tired of being single. So if You could hurry up and make the man of my dreams sweep me off my feet..."
"Lord I really want to be a teacher. Since You aren't letting me go overseas now why can't I at least teach? You have sent me on plenty of interviews...."
"Lord I am almost 30 and living at home WITH MY PARENTS. Seriously what are you doing to me...."
All of these are legitimate thoughts I have had. I am not asking for awful things at least i don't think they are:) Yet how often do I sit down with God just to spend time with him? How often do I just ask Him to show me more of Himself? I don't want all my conversations with God to be a list of complaints. I don't want to only tell people what God is doing in my life when I am frustrated and confused or when it works the way I wanted it to.
Romans 15:17 'Therefore in Christ-Jesus I have found reason for boasting in things pertaining to God.' How can I live that verse in my life... I want all things to pertain to God and not just my own selfish needs...
"Lord I want to love where I am. Show me how to live my ministry right here and right now without waiting on what I think is the perfect situation."
"Lord I am so glad that I have gotten to spend time growing with you and not someone else. I don't want anything to interrupt our relationship."
"Lord thank you for introducing me to a different professional world. Show me how to find joy in my job so people recognize You in what I am doing."
"Lord Thank you for letting me love my parents and getting to know them as an adult."
Maybe if I make sure that I place God in the middle of all my situations, instead of hovering over them with a magic wand, I will be Christ focused daily not just when the mood hits...
Characteristics VS Personality Part Three
We almost always have to be taught to play well with others. As toddlers, preschoolers, or for us slow learning children elementary school we are taught to share our things and not argue! If you had siblings the lessons were often times hard. You may have to not only share an occasional toy, but you also have to share rooms, attention, and parents. I firmly believe we are all born with a load of selfishness, and we have to learn to to deal with it. However I also think there is a time in our lives where we should get to take a break from all that learning. We should be able to play well with others by the time we are adults. I am going to place an adult between the ages of 26-65. (On applications 26 puts you in a new age bracket. After 65, you should be able to retire and do what ever you want!)
Now comes the connection. Our characteristics shape our personalities, and our personalities shape our likableness. What happens when those things don't mesh well with others? What if it makes it difficult for us to play well with others? My new job has lead to a new group of issues. Unfortunately many of them seem immature and drama filled in nature. After a few weeks of me personally walking around taking every comment, action or move,
over analyzing and deciding that I am hated, I have taken few steps back and tried to figure out what is meant as a personal insult and what is just a difference of personality. I have discovered it is a mixture of both. Now comes the hard questions...Should we attempt to mold characteristics of our personality in order to get along better with others? Mom tells us to play nice then how far should we go? Should I have to change my personality so that others will like me better? Should we dislike people because they have a characteristic that gets on our nerves?
I know you can pick your friends. However you can't always pick who you have as an acquaintance? There are people at church, work or friends of friends
that we just have to learn to deal with. Maybe if I learn to have a little grace with their personalities then they will learn to return the favor.
Characteristics VS Personality Part Two
Babies are interesting beings. When they are first born that are sleeping, eating, crying and pooping blobs. Don't get me wrong I love to cuddle with them at any age. However a few months down the road when they are start developing their own personalities that is when things get more interesting! You see them laugh at certain things. You find what they don't like and what they do! Their personalities develop as they grow older. Then they become their own individual person.
Personality is the visible aspect of one's character as it impresses others; collection of qualities; personal identity; sum total of the physical, mental, emotional, and social characteristics of an individual. Synonyms are likableness, temperament, charisma and disposition. Antonyms...well there aren't any:) Well according to dictionary.com...
Everything about us defines our personality. It oozes out of everything we say and do. Our fashion taste is even a reflection of our disposition. For me- Conservative in thought and fashion (no animal prints for me though I do have an animal print purse), Optimistic (bubbly, bubbly, its the blonde hair:), Honest (but not usually brutal), Funny (or at least people laugh at my jokes or at me:), Reliable (I really will drop it all if someone needs me), Extroverted (like you didn't already know that), On Time/Dependable (just ask the campbells never could be late on Monday nights:), Organized (you should have seen my locker or backpack in high school), etc. Well you get it. Those are the elements of my personality that I can nail down or others have told me.
Of course we have all taken 1 or 10 of the 50 million personality tests out there, from the serious Myers-Briggs and DISC, to the animal or color test...(ESFJ, D/C, Lion and i don't remember my color:) Personality is harder to nail down, and I think that is why it takes us so long to develop it. It is constantly changing based on age, place, job, and just life circumstances in the general. But why does it matter if we do or don't know our personality type? Does it make a difference in our day to day life? Does our charisma really matter in the whole scheme of things?
Characteristics VS Personality Part one
Every single person in the world is completely different. We have different hair, skin, eyes, laughs, walks, etc. No two people are exactly alike. We all think different, care about different things, or get annoyed at different things. Our personalities and characteristics define who we are. However what are those two things, and how do they affect us on a daily basis. Can we change our personalities or characteristics? Are we truly just born that way? What if I don't like what I have been dealt? How do I fix it?
According to dictionary.com a characteristic is a feature that helps distinguish a person or thing; distinctive; a feature that helps to identify, tell apart or describe;recognizable or distinguishing mark or trait. Synonyms for characteristic - emblematic, peculiar, individualistic, typical, distinguishing. Antonyms- abnormal, uncharacteristic...
For some reason I always think of a characteristic as a physical description of someone. For me, blonde hair (all my natural color), blue/green eyes (they really do change based on what color I am wearing), 5'7" (haven't started to shrink yet), hour-glass figure (am I being honest:)...I'll stop there. You get the picture. However it seems characteristics are more than physical elements. They are things that set me apart or make me peculiar...
I have a hard time putting together a list of non-physical characteristics. Talker (yeah you should all know that already:), optimistic (is that code for annoyingly chipper:), listener (like hearing what is going on with people), teacher (i just plain love it!), singer (it may not always sound great but i am not the worst one out there), sarcastic (that is what makes me funny)...
That is the best I can do. Yet for some reason I don't know if those are emblematic of who I am. Are those the characteristics that set me apart and make me an individual? I can think of tons of people who have the same characteristics. Is that when personality comes into play?
Discipleship at Work
I love ministry of almost any kind. I enjoy being able to spend my time building relationships with others in order to show them and tell them who Christ is. I firmly believe that is the only why you can make disciples like we are told to do. For the last few years I have struggled with the fact that my life is once again surrounded by Christians. Okay I know that sounds negative but that is not my intent. Before I moved overseas I can honestly say my contact with non-Christians was limited to people who I worked with that I never really talked to because they were non-Christians or when I worked summer camp and was forced to talk to non-Christians. I never realized that I had padded my life with people who knew and believed in God and Jesus. I didn't realize that is not how Jesus wanted me to live my life. Then I moved to France and had 5 or 6 Christians friends and several non-Christian friends. Non-Christians who for the most part didn't believe in Christ or God at all. When I moved back to the states I refused to jump back in that Christian only bubble again and fought hard to stay away from it for a long time.
However for the almost two years know I have done the same thing. Part of it was not by choice and some of it was. But ministry doesn't always have to be with non-Christians and lately God has been reminding me of that. For about a year and a half I have been teaching sunday school at my ultra-traditional southern baptist church. I became an unwilling participant in the class around february of 07. I had avoided it like the plague because I always felt it was not beneficial to my spiritual walk at all (in fact I feel that way about church in general....humble of me I know:) Guilt had pushed me into the class and teaching the class became a task that was dropped in my lap. A year and a half ago, my class consisted of about 6 people , 4 of which were related. Now we have about 15 who come all the time and more who visit. I am not a numbers person and that is not the important part of the blog...My sunday school class has grown spiritual in the last year and a half.
Christ comanded us to go and make disciples. I struggle still with what that looks like. But I am kind of starting to see that in my class. When I first started teaching the class, they would never answer questions, and it was struggle to get them to just read the scripture. Anytime I wasn't there 1 of 2 people were forced to teach in my absence. Forced truly is the the word, neither one wanted to and they argued over who had to. Now they are teaching bible study themselves. We have started meeting once a month outside of church, and everyone is taking turns teaching the bible study. Our extra lessons last for over an hour most of the time. We struggle to dismiss class on Sunday in time to get back into big church. They are talking about their faith and discussing how they can live it in their day to day lives. They are asking questions about what things mean in scripture. They are learning things on their own. They are talking to each other during the week in order to hold each other accountable and to check on each other. They are all amazed by what as been happening...I keep telling that is fellowship and what Christ wanted the church to look like. It is discipleship at work.
I struggle with understanding why God has me here and why I am still at the church I am at. Then something like this happens and I am reminded that maybe it wasn't me that God was as worried about. He wanted the class to grow and change. And the good thing is that it is my current ministry and they make me grow and learn in the process...
New do
Okay I feel the need to write a new post. The last one was overflowing with bitterness, and I feel the need to post something a little more chipper or at least most more intellectual. The last post sounds like the crazy rantings of a five year old...yes you can have issues when you are five!!! I had a rough couple of weeks and feel the need to blow off steam. The problem, however, is that I don't really know what to write about. I am not feeling exceptionally philosophical today:) I think it is because it has been just plain gloomy the last few days. I want to see the sun. It has been 3 days, and I have had enough of the dark lingering clouds I can handle...
I cut off my hair on tuesday. I feel like a new woman. I also think it makes me look older which just seems to remind me that i'll be 30 in five months. I am dreading this birthday with every fiber of my being but my hair looks really cute. I feel extra sassy with a shorter do:) Both of these picture were taken with my cell phone so that explains the not cute parts!
The sassy curly version
The super professional version.
Why is it that we can never make our hair look like the stylist does?
Things I hate..
I have had some pent up bitterness lately and have decided to vent some frustrations. These are in no way connected or necessarily important:)
1. I hate decorative pillows. If you can't cuddle on it or lay on it then you don't need it...Why have 14 different shapes, colors and sizes of pillows if you are just going to put them on the floor? such a waste of money...
2. I hate gym machine dominators. Watching people at the gym is one of my favorite things to do. It is always interesting to watch those people who aren't really working. They pay to come and socialize. Of course those are also the same people who stand in front of a machine and don't use them. The gym should just have a room meant for pure hang out time so those of us who want to use the machines can (granted I am not usually the person who wants to use the machines but it is the point!)
3. I hate junior high drama. Girls are just plain good at this, but it drives me crazy. Over the last few weeks I have found myself wanting to scream ata few people, who will not be named, that maybe since they are over thirty they should just stop it....just stop it!
4. I hate the sound of people clipping their fingernails. If you spend much time with me you know this is the world's most annoying and disgusting sound. And why do people feel the need to ever do that in public? Go to the bathroom or do it at your house when no one else is around!!!
5. I hate those people with the martyr complex. You know who I mean...those people who volunteer to do something and then complain about how hard the task was or how much work went into something. They tend to sigh alot and talk about how big of a sacrifice they made. If Jesus can die on a cross and not complain then you have no right either!!!! So suck it up! If you don't want to do something then DON'T DO IT!!!
6. I hate noisy eaters. I know that everyone makes noises when they eat especially when it is a loud food like chips or cookies. But those people who feel the need to chew there food 80 times or slap their lips together or chomp their teeth could you please not sit within a 400 feet area of me. I will hear you and want to punch you in the face!
7. I hate movie repeaters. You know who I mean. They sit in the theater and feel the need to ask the person next to them if they saw what just happened or they repeat the line that was just said....FYI We are all watching the same thing you are and yes we heard it so please don't tell us about. We are in the same room with you, you dork!
8. I hate annoying drivers. I could spend all day on this subject. It would be safer if you would all stay out of my way because chances are you are driving too slow or taking too long or talking too much or not paying attention or not staying in the right spot or...well you get the point. I will yell at you and probably use words the Lord will not be okay with.
9. I hate brussel sprouts. They just look, smell and taste just plain gross. If you eat them you are wierd. Hello they are slimy!!
10. I HATE THE CAST BOOT. Yes I am wearing it again. I have some how managed to pull or pop a tendon in the arch/ankle of the foot that I broke in May. Ergo I am once again hobbling around in the boot...again. I think God is picking on me!!
Okay I am done with my rant...I'll try to be more positive next time!
