Sunday, September 27, 2009

resting in this moment...

(I actually wrote this blog after labor day weekend but have just now taken the time to post it! been sick and an over all slacker! will try to get better:)

How many times can you start over or begin again? A new season comes and an old one passes away…does it ever stop? Do I ever adjust to it? What happens when these new season doesn’t have a ending point that I can see?

I always make plans knowing when it will start and when it will end. My end usually consists of two or three options…what I will do if I have to start over is always in the back of my mind. I took a vacation this week where I just relaxed and caught up with some old friends. It was a true escape from reality…a break where I could sit back and just talk with some of my favorite people. It was a lovely combination of seriousness, laughter, and nostalgia.

On Sunday reality started to reassert its self. Two totally different people asked me what was next for me…How long would I teach pre-K? Do I want to stay in TN forever? Where to next? It hit me when the first person asked. I haven’t thought about it, honestly! For the first time in my life I find myself focusing on next week and next week only. I am not focusing on the future that extends beyond the next break from school. I haven’t planned any trips. I am not stressing about the who, what, when and where of my life. I am resting in this moment…it is a new sensation. I am sure it won’t last. However for now I am letting go, and I guess, letting God do the stressing for me… I like it. I guess my vacation will last a little longer.