Confession is Good for the Soul
I have an impending birthday that has made me be up front and honest with myself. I can no longer hide behind the number anymore. It has officially turned its back on me. I AM AN ADULT!! It is time I admitted it to myself and to the world (okay world is a little dramatic...I am admitting it to the few people who actually read this blog!) I am ready to tell you the truth. This is how I know I am an adult...
1. Health Benefits...During college and for a few years after college I had no health benefits. Medical, Dental, and Vision insurance were a thing of the past. But hey who needs them anyway. I was never sick. I lived in France for 2 years with benefits and never once touched them. Why pay the money for them if you don't need? however the last year the Lord has seen to it that I use all aspects of my insurance. I mean I pay for I may as well use it. I would fear for my live if I had not insurance now. Every sneeze I heard would push me over the line.
2. Job Security matters...I changed jobs alot while I was in college and after returning to the states. It was nothing to make a shift based on boredom or because I wanted to actually use my degree (crazy I know!). I jumped states. I quit 2 jobs to go work camp. I knew I could always find another job. I am smart and gifted (humble:0). Finding a new job would be a snap. However earlier this week our branch lost 2 employees to cut backs that are being made in the company. They were sent to a meeting and bam...unemployed. I am grateful to have a job and not to eager to leave it unless I have one in the bag. oh yeah and it has benefits.
3. Bedtime...I have to be in bed by 10 during the week or I never make.
4. All nighters...even on the weekends I still have to go to bed early. One night of staying up until 2 or 3 takes me weeks to recover from.
5. Young uns on TV....I am addicted to reality tv shows. I love the drama and the stories of the crazy people on them. However they are all really young. American idol last night was killer. They had to sing a song from the year they were born..."I was born in 1989, 1990, etc" Oh my gosh they are so young.
6. You start using phrases like.." you are so young. You are such a baby."
7. Music really can be too loud.
Okay I'll stop there. I could go on forever. Because adults have way more hot air!!!
The greatest story ever told...
Anyone who as ever meet me knows that I am a nerd when it comes to reading. My mother was completely flabbergasted a few months ago when she realized how big of a dork I am. I am always reading at least one book or 2 or 3 at a time. I will read almost anything but sci-fi or horror. I like the classics, trashy popular books, pulitzer prize winners or anything with a pretty cover. I am always carrying a book with me everywhere I go. Right now I know have one in my car and one in my purse.
However my love of reading lately has not included the Bible. For the last few months I have struggled with finding it remotely interesting. I feel like I have read it all before. It is uninteresting and almost underrated. Can lightening strike me for just typing that? It isn't that I don't want to read the Bible. I miss the intimacy of reading God's word and feeling like He is speaking to me.
So Monday night I tried something new. I grabbed my Bible snuggled under the covers in my cold bedroom and started at the beginning. Reading the greatest story ever OUTLOUD... I think sometimes I get so caught up in what it all means that I forget it is still a story. I find I am enjoying reading it outloud. It almost makes it more real. I love reading outloud. I was always one of the first to volunteer in school and still am when the chance arises. I like being able to put emotion in the story. It helps me focus. I have found myself not skimming but really enjoying the Bible. Last night I finished Chapter 5....man some of those names are hard, but I am really enjoying my new book.
what i love about starbucks...
Yesterday I got to leave work at 12. It was a great day. Granted I have to work on Saturday, but I believe it to be a fair trade. I changed into jeans and a t-shirt and headed to starbucks with my laptop and time to waste. I discovered a few things while sitting at my favorite starbucks for 2 hours....
1. Free internet...No starbucks doesn't have free wi-fi, but the place next door does. I was in updating and music downloading heaven.
2. Piped in music...I am addicted to folkie, indie style music. Starbucks plays the largest assortment. Most of the artists I have never heard of before. But I love the mellow sound and unique music. Occasionally I will hear an artist or song I know, but the unknown fascinates me.
3. I feel smarter... I am sure that is completely mental. However for some reason sitting at a table with my laptop makes me feel more intelligent. Yesterday the two loud people were studying chemistry. You can't get much smarter than that.
4. The conversations... I am a great eve's dropper. I listen to almost everything around me. I don't want to wear headphones or the music to be to loud. I want to hear what people talk about. They discuss politics, religion, and gossip all while enjoying a good cup of coffee.
5. The people you may meet...Yesterday I saw a friend I hadn't seen in 6 months. It is always fun to catch up. A few months ago I meet a guy at random. We talked religion. Now when we see each other we can say hi. People are always willing to talk to each other at starbucks especially if you are sitting in one of the 4 comfy chairs.
6. oh yeah...the coffee, the pastries and access to the new york times...once again just makes me feel good all over.
these are the days of my life...
lately i have discovered that my life has settled into a routine. i talked with a friend last night and she asked what was new. my response nothing. i get up, i go to work, i go to the gym, i go home, watch tv and then go to bed. everyday same thing...the only variation is wednesday (choir practice), sunday (church), saturday (occasional shopping or hanging with friends). how did this happen? how did i get to the place where i don't make a difference? i, like most people, have a load of excuses. i don't have time, i am tired, i never get alone time, i don't know where to start, etc.
i miss ministry. i miss sitting down and talking to people about whatever. i regret that i didn't do it more on the field when i had the chance. of course that doesn't mean i can't do it now. my list of excuses just keeps growing.
my sunday school lessons over the last few weeks have been about how to share your relationship with Christ. we are called to be disciples, but i think i have forgotten how. i hate that. i miss the desire to share who God is and what He has done. i never thought i would settle back in to the routine of not going out and telling and sharing.
