jumping off a ledge
I am a pushover. Not sure if that is the correct term but it is all that pops into my head. I would like to argue that I am extremely solid in my faith. I know what I believe and am solid in why I believe it. However over the last couple of months I have come to realize that I can't always back up what I believe in unless I have heard someone else tell me why they believe it...confused yet??I am currently walking my way through Philippians using a Precept Upon Precept Bible study series. It is unlike any bible study series I have ever done. This is my second Precept study. The first wasn't as much of a challenge, but this one is making me nervous. I have always thrived in those studies where the author tells me where to go to find the answer to their questions. They know the answer and will spend 3 or 4 pages telling me why I should agree with them. I am not saying they are theologically unsound, but they do a great job of spoon feeding me. However over the past week I have been forced to read 3 verses and then find the answer to the tough theological question by myself using scripture, commentaries and a concordance. Yikes!!! just me, the big thick books and the Holy spirit...I already had my opinion of why I believed but to have to support it was a little intimidating.
Then it hit me...there are to many parts of my faith that I 'believe' to be true but I can't necessarily tell you why I firmly believe it to be true. I am a pushover...I let what other people believe be my guiding post. Which brings me to point number 2 this realization also makes me a little bit of a hypocrite. I can't tell you how many times i have told people in any bible study I was teaching to study scripture for themselves. I have always wanted them to read the Bible. I have always warned them to not just take my word for it or even the preacher's word for what they are to believe. Here find that I have been doing the same thing...
So now it is time for me to start finding out why I believe what I believe...and doing it myself. Not that I won't be reading others books and listening to other opinions but maybe I should spend more time studying the actual Word of God instead of letting others spoon feed me the answers to my faith questions...Ergo I will be jumping off a faith ledge and let the Holy Spirit spend more time guiding me. I guess it is a good time for me to start seminary after all...isn't it suppose to better equip me to study:)
posted by deanna @ 10:29 PM
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