Contentment...
Contentment- to be happy or at peace with where one is….I don’t know if that is truly the definition of the word but right now it accurately describes my life. Two weeks ago I thought my world had fallen apart. I was terminated from my job(what a disgusting term!). Shock and awe don’t even begin to describe what I felt…add anger, fear, and embarrassment to that list and we get a little closer to where I was 2 weeks ago. Today it is a 180 degree turn on my emotions. I am at peace, joyful, non-stressed and excited. Granted there is a layer of fear but at the moment it is buried so deep it won’t rear its ugly head anytime soon... hopefully :)If you had told me that I would be content with losing my job under such unpleasant circumstances I would have probably laughed in your face….however if you have talked to me in the last few months you knew of my misery. Work was leaving a bitter taste in my mouth that had leaked over into every part of my life. My time with the Lord was plagued by anger, frustration, and bitterness. Pride was making me swell up with righteous indignation. It was festering to a breaking point…one that exploded about 2 weeks before my termination. The Lord took that mini explosion a month ago to tap me upside the head and remind me that I was getting in the way. I was not letting God shine through me at all. He started forcing me to do things I didn’t want to do and pray for people I honestly didn’t want to pray for! Then wham…the termination! You know what is funny is that I am glad it happened. I have been removed from a situation that was in no shape form or fashion good for me or my walk with Christ…
Right now I am cradled in His arms eagerly waiting to see what He is going to do! Yep you heard me correctly I said eagerly…I am so excited I almost can’t stand it…He promises to give me what my heart desires. I am going to spend the next few months finding out what that is…I was not at ease with my life two weeks ago. In fact I was down right miserable, but today I am grateful and well….content...how bizarre!
posted by deanna @ 10:58 PM
2 Comments:
wow, girl! I had no idea, but glad you are on the right path now!
Deanna,
I was wondering when I might see a blog about the recent happenings in your life. Let me first say that my prayers still go up for you. Also I do think that in some small tiny way, we developed a friendship, okay acquaintance, during the months that you were here. I am still struggling with the whole situation and have am seeing my misery in a new light. However, I am so glad to see you explain it this way. The Lord is definitely in control and you are so open to him. I know he will do mighty things for you in HIS time. That is hard I know. I love to read that you are excited about the coming events in your life. Please keep that attitude and do not look back!
Nathan
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