Motivation Because or Period
If you have spoken to me at any point over the last several months or maybe even in the last year, you have unfortunately had to listen to me complain about being in limbo land (sorry if I have been whining too much!). I will spend a half the time talking about how great it has been to continue to get to know God as a single adult who has plenty of time to enjoy God. Then I question why He isn't doing anything to make my life more like I want it to be.Over the last week or so I have been dealing with the issue of what is my motivation for spending time with God? Beloved friend pointed it out to me...seen the concept in personal scripture reading...even the tv preacher I watched sunday morning asked me the same question (snow day...skipped church:) Why do I desire to know Him more? Do I want to know Him so he will give me the perfect job or money to pay off my bills or a permanent plane ticket to France or a spouse to grow old with or...well you get the picture. Or do I just want to KNOW HIM period? with no 'so' or 'because' or 'I want' list following that statement.
When overseas a group of unnamed friends and I would mock just a little (okay a lot) the prayer of jabez...We as a Christian group latched on to that formula prayer with our whole hearts and book buying wallets. But didn't we try that method because we read that if we prayed that way our lives would overflow with blessings? I don't think there is anything wrong with enjoying the blessing God gives you. I am grateful for them but is that why i want to be a Christian? doesn't that sound a little childish? I claim to want a 'meat and taters' relationship with God but secretly I want to behave so I get what I put on my 'Santa Jesus' wish list.
For the last few months I have struggled with being single. I am tired of being single. I want to meet someone, get married and start having those 2 or 3 or maybe just 1 kids. Don't get me wrong I am grateful that I have been able to enjoy God as a single person, but I think I have learned enough and am ready to get to know God with my husband! How arrogant is that statement? Was that the reason I tried to know God was because I thought that would speed up my time table of things to do before I die?
I think I should want to Know God because I want to Know God. In fact I want to Crave to Know God. dang it I guess I guess I haven't learned everything...
posted by deanna @ 2:59 PM
2 Comments:
thanks for sharing your heart with us D! hang in there, your life is still going according to HIS plan :)
oh you have learned something though! keep your head up my friend. you are on the right track, straight to his heart.
ps i might recommend a larry crabb book that really got my attention. title: the pressure's off. it addresses much of what you are grappling with.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home