Roaming Tennessee Girl

not any easier...

at some point you get used to it right...just one time you know exactly what you are getting into and how to handle it.  maybe this time will be different....all the feelings won't overwhelm me.  i will know exactly what to do and how to handle it...right? eventually you learn...

of course this isn't the first time i have experienced this and i am pretty sure it won't be the last time.  however every time it hits me i am still surprised..starting over and moving is just plain tough.

yes i have been in south alabama world (and yes world is appropriate because it is unlike anywhere i have ever lived before!) for six months now.  usually the emotional lonely wave hits earlier than this.  normally six months in i have built some relationships and settled in.  granted things will still surprise me but life is becoming normal and friendships are growing. 

however this move was of course slightly different.  i moved to someone and not to a place...i am glad i did move to someone this time.  that part made the move a little easier.  it helps that he is my best friend and now my husband (still weird).  and as much as i love him and want to spend all my time with him.  lets be honest not the wisest of things for an extrovert such as i. first my husband is an introvert who loves his books and his quiet. second he is a boy..i mean man.  they are just different.  he loves having me around all the time and gets a little sad when i leave him alone for too long.  however sometimes he just needs me in the room not talking and sometimes i need someone to discuss live with serious and silly.  i need a girl friend or more than one...

yep i am lonely for some face to face time with friends of the female world.  so this weekend i doing something that i have grown to detest. i am going on a woman's retreat...yep i said grown to detest.  i am not sure when the change happened or even why it happened.  i grew up attending church retreats for kids, youth and woman.  every year almost like clockwork i attended between 2 to 4 conferences a year...during college the trend continued...after missionary world i sometimes spoke at them...but i have grown to really dislike them.

i know what i don't like about them and i always claim i going to stop attending them...however here i go again.  and this time the motive is completely awful.  it isn't about extreme God concentration...though i wish it was...it is a sad ploy to meet more people and hopefully gain a friend or 2 in the process...

blah....yep so far moving and starting over is not getting easier...the worst part about the next 2 days is that i am about 99% sure God will throw me a curve ball and i will become the over emotional basket case that i don't like...

posted by deanna @ 9:18 AM