Roaming Tennessee Girl

giddy, nervous, and flustered part 2

i forgot how terrible i am at dating. all my insecurities rear their ugly head. i evaluate every thing i say and every action i do. i spend too much time in front of the mirror finding my flaws and exaggerating them. i get nervous and yes i am pretty sure i giggle some. please don't let that destroy my image in your eyes!! i don't if i have scared him off yet:)

however that feeling of butterflies and raised heart rate is always a trill. i wanted to call all my friends and tell them everything about what was said and what i thought. what i liked about the boy and what maybe i didn't. every text from the boy lead to a serious debate with which ever girlfriend happened to be close by...this led me think about something.

when was the last time i got giddy about something God was doing in my life? when was the last time i got excited to go and sit in the presence of the Lord? when was the last time i wonder about what i said in the God's eyes? when was the last time i evaluated my actions in the eyes of the Lord? Do i ever get butterflies in my stomach when i get to talk to God? Do i eagerly call my friends and tell them what God said to me or what he is teaching me? Do i sit down and debate with myself and with my friends about what God is saying to me?

there are moments when that has happened in my life. i remember them vividly. but they don't happen that often anymore. as a single person i should find all my worth in God and my relationship with him. but do i work on that relationship? i miss the excitement i get from hanging out with God. however it's nones fault but my own. i always seem to find time to focus on something else, or i will spend just enough time to check Him off my list. He is my best friend (cheesy i know) but true. But i treat Him like a casual acquaintance that requires Sunday only time.

Jeremiah 29:11-13 has been going through my mind non-stop for the last 2 or 3 weeks. Things are changing for me again but not in a direction i thought they would go. on Saturday i spent some time in God's presence, and he reminded me again of the verses. He has a hope and future for me. it is good. however i have to seek him and call out his name. i think i may find some time soon to go on a long date with Christ. the best part is no nerves He already knows everything there is to know about me. and He loves me. Now that is a reason get giddy and excited all over again :)

posted by deanna @ 7:15 PM